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        Because the new terrestrial era already 
started, I feel it's my duty to bring you the news. 
I was too busy with this book lately and I had no 
time at all to check my newspapers. So, look what I 
found about the new era. I think there must be a 
time misunderstanding hidden somewhere in the 
history… Be sure of that, the year 2000 has nothing 
to do with it… we're still in 1999!…:



        Romania - Bucharest - "The Important Daily 
Event Journal": Yesterday morning, on the airport 
of Bucharest, a normal Arabian young man whispered 
into the ear of a crippled blonde Romanian girl: 
"Ya habibi… Come hotel… Have nice stockings for 
you, miss…" The crippled blonde kicked the Arabian 
on his head, with her stick. The Arabian fainted 
and started to bleed. People gathered instantly 
around him, so no one could see where the crippled 
blonde disappeared. In fact, this is not so 
important. The most important thing is that The 
Government doesn't pay attention to such matters as 
much as it should!… When we, the Romanian people 
will learn to respect our most important foreign 
investors?… We still hope that our crippled 
compatriot was not aware about what she was doing. 
The young Arabian man happens to be the 17-th son 
of the 23-rd nephew of the 232-nd cousin of The 
Sheickh of Baghdad's 14-th brother. Absolutely 
normally, the man promised to take the first plane 
to Amsterdam (?!!), to revenge his honour.



        "Amsterdam Breakfast Journal" -  front page: 
"A platinum blond haired young lady walking with a 
stick and a group of darker haired ladies with 
false nails all met in the duty free perfume shop 
at the airport. They all asked for "TOMMY 
HILFIGER". All their lovers' birthdays were 
supposed to be very soon (on the same day by 
coincidence!). When the platinum blond haired lady 
asked for the product, she also asked for a 
greetings card to be attached to the present. She 
gave her name and her lover's for that purpose. 
Suddenly, a whole collective hysteria started from 
the group of the darker haired ladies. They said: 
"Look, this is the Russian who turned upside down 
the computers network of our Institution!" The 
platinum blond haired one turned to them and said: 
"Wasn't she Romanian, as a matter of fact?" 
"Russian or Romanian it's the same!" answered the 
others, pointing their false nails to her face. 
That seemed to be a very big mistake on their 
part, as the platinum blond haired lady replied: 
"Oh… NOOO!… Romania is something else! Romania is a 
LATIN country with very beautiful natural resources 
and a very competent Government as well!" Than she 
started to kick the darker haired ladies with her 
stick untill they all fainted. When they recovered 
they each took planes in different directions: to 
Hong Kong, to London, to Korea, to the Philippines and 
on a few other airlines. They all left their false nails 
on the field of the battle. The platinum blond 
haired lady was kept by the airport authorities. A 
young Arabian man who happened to enter the shop 
during the fight, also got a stick on his head. He 
hasn't recovered yet."



        "Amsterdam Cocktail Between The Meals 
Journal": "Physicals and organisations all over the 
world warmly congratulate the young Romanian blonde 
for her patriotism."


        Romania - 200 km far away from Bucharest - 
"The Unimportant Daily Event Journal": We've been 
told by foreign news agencies that a blonde 
compatriot of ours became famous all over the world 
for her proofs of patriotism. This is a matter 
still not so important for our newspaper, so we 
kindly appeal to our colleagues abroad to address 
this kind of news to a Romanian newspaper a little 
bit far away from ours. We are much more interested 
in the adventures of a certain Arabian globe-
trotter.



        "Amsterdam Supper News" - (first page, 
obviously):  "A very important English businessman 
wearing sunglasses came from London tonight, with 
an emergency flight. He had heared from BBC about 
the ethnically charged event in Amsterdam airport. 
He offered himself to pay the bail set for the 
platinum blond haired young lady. He said to her: 
"You see, it's not for the money or some other 
reasons you dreamed about, I didn't pay you the 
taxi. I was just concerned about the formalities 
you had to carry on first. Really!" None of the 
officials there understood the meaning of his 
words. They are still thinking about it. The 
mystery was amplified when the businessman's wife 
called immediately after he and the Romanian 
platinum blonde left the airport to an unknown 
destination. His wife said: 'OH!-IT'S-DISGUSTING!-
HOW-CAN-A-MAN-INSIST-ON-GOING-TO-WORK-IN-AMSTERDAM-
IF-HIS-WIFE-SAYS-HE'S-NOT-ALLOWED-TO!!!???… ^%.$# 
@* !!!~2!#*.. ????!!!"



        "Daily London Five O'clock Tea Journal": The 
honourable citizen of London who became famous for 
supporting with his own money the ethnic 
conflict in Amsterdam airport, was congratulated 
by The British Government today, in an
official meeting. On this occasion, he was also 
appointed in a very important diplomatic post at 
Rio de Janeiro. We asked the important businessman 
we are proud to have as a fellow citizen: "What 
do you think about your new post, Sir?" He 
answered: 'Well, I'm glad it's far away from… 
trouble.' The 'trouble' called us later on at the 
editorial office. She was very mad and she refused 
to speak directly to her husband. She kept 
threatening us on the phone for a couple of hours. 
She sayed that she will divorce the honourable 
citizen of London if he doesn't stay home." 



        "International Laws Tribune" - Thanksgiving 
Edition: "Finally someone is willing to protect the 
rights of Men! A young lawyer lady from Romania 
founded a organisation called 'Revolutionary Style 
Divorce', based on the Romanian law concerning this 
matter. This means that every man is free to 
divorce when he wants, how he wants, without being 
enforced to pay any kind of allowance to his ex-
wife, except the one for their children. Many of 
our colleagues, even married, hurried to propose to 
the leader of the new organisation."



        Sandra Brown -"The Passionate Love Volumes 
no. 146, 147…………          .285": "He brought her a 
laptop as birthday present. He asked her to carry 
it all over when accompanying him on his travels. 
He realised he couldn't give up her e-mail messages 
even now, when they were both free and all the time 
so close to each other… She kissed him and looked 
into his eyes. That happened in the lobby of 'La 
Plazza' Hotel in New York, where they were just 
moving in. 'Waw, thought the lift-boy carrying 
their luggage, I'd better never pass between these 
two people, I might be electrocuted by the passion 
between them…' Everybody around noticed that and 
couldn't interfere the unique dream the lovers were 
living. So all the assistants took the next 
elevator on the right."



        "Psychological Hot Events" - Monthly Inner 
Specialty Journal: "Our highly appreciated young 
colleague, author of the revolutionary study about 
the influence of the computers upon soft 
professionals and much more… disappeared 
completely! Her highly respected professor said 
that one morning she turned on her computer to read 
her horoscope. By mistake, she clicked on the 
"travel" section where she found this: 'City of the 
day - Tokyo. Tokyo is the town were lovers start 
living their dreams…' She said: 'Oh, my God, I'll go 
crazy myself, I need therapy!' and took the first 
plane to… Paris! We invite our young colleague to 
come to explain her apparently illogical deed in 
front of our board of specialists. Her psychological 
point of view might be interesting for the future 
of mankind and as revolutionary as her previous 
study."



        Romania - 568 km far away from Bucharest - 
"The Daily Event Which Must Not Be Taken At All In 
Consideration" - Hot News: "About a month ago, a 
journalist, representative of 'Hong Kong Daily Pot 
of Rice Editorial' visited us, at the editing 
office. He was asking us to publish an 
announcement, in order to find the author of the 
work entitled: 'The Romantic Diary From The 
Japanese Garden'. The author is supposed to be 
Romanian. Her work was found by a woman working at 
the IT department from a certain financial 
institution located in Asia. She could not stop 
crying since reading the work. She asked her lover 
married to a famous publisher abroad to do whatever 
he could to publish that thing. The publishing 
company was finally interested in it and is looking 
for the author to sign a contract with them. The 
author is supposed to get a fortune out of this. 
'But how can she sign, said the journalist from 
Hong Kong, if she's not aware of what's happening?' 
We had to apologise as such an extremely minor 
event was not even for the competence of our 
newspaper. So we suggested to him that he address over 
the border on this matter. We want to sleep."   



        Rio de Janeiro - "Samba on Paper": "A 
charming blonde from Romania was crowned as 'The 
Queen of Dizzy Crazy Samba Club' of this year. 
Everybody got extremely curious to find out how 
this thing could be possible… as she and the man 
who seemed to be her lover had been drinking only 
orange juice the whole night!… She was asked about 
her profession. She said: 'E-mail writer.' Her man 
said: 'Mh.' when he was asked about his. She kept 
kissing the bunch of pink roses she had been given. 
She and her lover refused to take their sunglasses 
off until they left the place."



     And this is just the beginning of it!… Believe 
me, the rest continues to get solved by itself. 
So keep your eyes on this further, the way I told 
you… 

 

F’s  Computer

 
   © Florina Fabian

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